Beyond Salvation
by Amashelle
Summary: I am one of The Nine; Úlairi; Nazgûl; Ringwraiths; Dark Riders. This is the story of my greatest triumphs... and my greatest mistakes.
1. Chapter One: A Complicated Family

Summary: _I am one of The Nine; Úlairi; Nazgûl; Ringwraiths; Dark Riders. Whatever name you give me, it does not change what I am. This is the story of my greatest triumphs... and my greatest mistakes. The blood that has flowed from my fingers, the death that my life has spawned. This is my life, before I became this creature of fear and malice. Before I fell victum to my own greed..._

Disclaimer:_ I do not own Lord of the Rings. Nor do I own any names or related products. These all belong to Tolkien and a handful of other people/companies who managed to get the rights to make a movie/board game/RP game/etc. Asside from the name, Indur Dawndeath is my character. The events documented here are my own, and are completely fictional._

**The land of my childhood was at the height of its glory. The salt waters of the Sea of Rhûn, on whose shores our capital city was built, were warm almost all year round. There were mountains to the southwest, across the sea, sitting like beautiful statues of nature on the distant horizon, often clouded by fog in the winter months. And to the north was a seemingly endless playground of trees – though I was never permitted to explore the forest thoroughly until I was well into my teenage years.  
  
My home itself was fitting for a family with as much power as we. My father, Lien Indur, was one of four rulers of the land – which was divided into quadrants, southwest, northwest, southeast and northeast. Once a year, just as the snow began to melt, the four rulers would meet to discuss various issues that affected them all. I remember eavesdropping on the councils the few times they were held in our quadrant, but I didn't understand enough of the politics to realize what was going on. My only conclusion would have been that they argued a lot. More so than my parents did, and maybe even more than my siblings and I did.  
  
But it was not my duty to worry about politics. At the age of eight, I was more than content to let Riel, my older brother, attend the lessons of court and waste away the summer learning of laws and manners while my little sister, Valien and I would play in the trees or sail the shallow inlet of the sea around which the city was built. I took care of my own studies, spending the nights reading texts that were far beyond my current level of understanding. I read of politics, in the hopes that I might one day beat my brother to the crown. I read of magic, both good and evil. I learned of the world, in a much broader sense than my brother could even imagine.  
  
Time moves quickly, and often has a habit of stealing childhood away to be replaced with something alien. When I was but ten years old, and my brother scarcely sixteen, our father was murdered. I didn't understand – how could any child grasp a concept such as death?  
  
Riel took up father's seat at the council, proudly, apathetically. He didn't speak to me for many months, ordering people to keep me away from him, saying he was busy, or in need of rest. It was very nearly a year before I next saw him. His dark features were hallow, though I couldn't understand why. At that age, despite my secret education, there were very few connections I could make. His pale face seemed yet paler than usual, and I feared he might be ill.  
  
'Riel?' I asked, 'Are you in good health?'  
  
And he looked up at me, his eyes seeming to scream something at me that my childish mind could not comprehend. 'I asked them not to let you in.' He said coldly, and I scowled. Then, quite suddenly, I knew. I knew why he refused to speak to me, why he had avoided me for this past year.  
  
Riel Indur, my older brother, had arranged our father's murder. Our eyes met, and a simple brotherly understanding was established. He knew the truth was out. But, far from being disgusted by Riel's actions, I felt a certain amount of pride. My brother, he who I had always thought was week and pathetic, had had the courage to kill in order to step up in life. And, at that moment, I realized that I would one day be forced to kill him so that I might do the same.  
  
I was one of the only ones who knew. Poor Valien, who was only seven, didn't even seem to realize what had happened. She could tell from our expressions that something was wrong, but her innocence was still her strength, and I refused to take it from her. And so it was that the truth was kept from her, and was until her dying day. She didn't need to know, anyway.**


	2. Chapter Two: That Turning Point

**It was my eleventh birthday. Riel had planned a huge feast for me, though I was not supposed to know of it – it is difficult to keep secrets such as that in a castle as close-quartered as ours. Even so, I played my part and pretended to be oblivious to the hurrying servants and the worried cooks. Valien and I had decided to go out on the sea, sailing along, close to the shoreline where it was relatively safe.  
  
'Ji,' she asked, looking at me out of her sweetly innocent blue eyes. 'Why hasn't father returned from his trip south?'  
  
I stared at her in shock. Had nobody explained to her that he wasn't coming back? That he hadn't _really_ gone south? It made me sick to realize how little she knew. How little people had deemed necessary to tell her. I may have been keeping our brother's involvement in his death a secret, but she deserved to know that she was never going to see him again!  
  
'Valien...' How did one go about telling such a sweet child that her father was dead? For an instant, I almost understood why she didn't know. Almost. 'Dad is... not coming back. Remember a few months ago, when we dressed all in red and processed down to the quarry?'  
  
'Yes.' Her voice was hesitant, as though she wasn't sure she really wanted to hear what was going to come next.  
  
So I gave her a moment to think about it, then continued. 'That was his sending – he was placed in the river and left to float out to sea. He's dead, Valien.'  
  
She stared at me, her eyes growing wider as she began to understand what I was saying. 'Dead?' And then, quite without warning, the tears came. The flooded out of her eyes in more or less the same way that the sea flooded every spring. I was angry, no, _furious_ that they had left me with the task of breaking such news to her. _Someone _was going to regret that.  
  
But I never got the chance to comfort her. We sat there, floating around in circles upon the breast of the sea, close enough to the shore that our guardians could still see us (I had refused to let them come out with us – I was, after all, eleven years old now). I offered the child some water from my kine skin, and she drank from it deeply. Even as she passed it back to me, I knew something was wrong. She dropped the skin and stared at me, fear and pain clearly visible in her dilating eyes. Her muscles tensed and she began to seize. I held her close to me, desperate to stop her spasms, but there was nothing I could do. Only moments later, her body went limp in my arms. Her breathing had stopped.  
  
I glanced back at the shore, and, if looks could kill, none of those watching would have survived my gaze. I stood, even on the uncertain waves that rocked the boat. 'Someone has murdered my sister!' I screamed. 'Let it be known that I shall hunt you down, and you will suffer greatly for this!' Not very creative, or even intimidating, but for a boy of eleven years, my anger was great. Even now, I hate the man who did it. Even now, when nothing matters to me, I wish that they had suffered the same fate as I.**


	3. Chapter Three: Revenge

**I locked myself in the library, and stayed there for weeks, living off of water I took directly from the river. I read every book I could find on the magical arts, texts that were reserved, usually, for the mages and their apprentices. When I finished with them, I requested that I be permitted to visit the other three quadrants of our land, and my brother graciously complied with my wishes.  
  
And so it was that I set out on what would become the most defining journey of my life. I paid for passage with a merchant ship that was heading south west, towards the mountains. By then I was thin and malnutritioned, but my mind was swollen with the acquisition of new knowledge.  
  
The journey was long, but not unpleasant. The merchants seemed happy to have another hand capable of work, and they taught me all they could about the finer workings of the ship. One woman, Rista, even took me in as one of her own, if only temporarily, and fed me and clothed me as though I was the son she never had. She did, however, have two daughters – twins, both with sun-bleached locks of gold and eyes as blue as the sea upon which they sailed. They were only two years younger than I, and the three of us became friends. The first real friends I'd ever had.  
  
However, that stage of my life came to an end all too quickly as we docked in the south-east harbour. I bid them farewell and headed into the city, towards their central palace. They had been expecting me, and I was led almost instantly to their library, as had been requested.  
  
One night, as I sat in the huge room of books, the fire burning low and the candles almost extinguished, I heard a movement behind me. Whipping around, however, I saw nothing. Much as I strived to see further into the growing shadows, there didn't seem to be anything to see. So I turned back to my book, and jumped half a meter out of my seat.  
  
A man was sitting across the table from me. He was old, though his deep black hair hadn't yet begun to turn grey, his face was lined with the wrinkles of time, and his eyes were dim and weary. 'Greetings, young prince Ji,' he said, his voice resounding eerily in the large, empty room.  
  
'Gr...Greetings,' I stuttered back.  
  
'So, you seek to learn the ways of the mage, eh?' I nodded slowly. 'Surely you must know that you cannot learn such things simply by reading of them in books!'  
  
'I know of no other way to learn,' my voice had become defiant in face of this man's disrespect.  
  
He shook his head. 'Of course you don't – but I know of other ways to teach, if you are interested.' A wide grin passed over his face, revealing oddly straight, white teeth that I found out of place in the smile of one so aged.  
  
'You mean to say that you would teach me?'  
  
'That's exactly what I mean.' His smile, were it possible, grew even wider.  
  
'Wha – who are you?'  
  
'My name is of no import. It was lost many years ago. Names don't matter much, when all is said and done.'  
  
I was hesitant to commit to anything just yet, but then my sister's face loomed into my vision, her innocent eyes confused and frightened as their light drained forever. 'What must I do?' I demanded.  
  
'Go into the mountains. Find the smallest peak. Halfway up, there is a cave. That is wear I live. I will wait for you there.'  
  
'Why can't you just take me there yourself?' I asked.  
  
'Because you move too slowly!' He laughed, even as he started to skip backwards towards the door. 'And I will not teach one who has not the courage and determination to make the journey on their own!'**


	4. Chapter Four: The Dead Mountains

Finding a map of the mountains was more difficult than I had expected. It seemed the territory was relatively unexplored, and few cartographers had dared to venture into the terrain. Those that had, had not returned. However, I did manage to find a rough sketch of the area, done by an amateur explorer only three years ago, and by asking around, one of the palace schoolteachers was able to tell me that a particular mountain only a few days march from the city was generally believed to be the smallest.   
  
I did not speak of the old man who had come to visit me. I don't know why, it just didn't seem right to bring him up to anyone. Instead, I explained that I wanted to explore the mountains further, as part of my personal schooling, and departed three days later with a small team of armed guards – King Jiam would have died before letting my brother's heir wander off alone.  
  
The air was cold, but it was still early in the summer months. Already, the paths were coated in a fine dusting of frost, and the trees were beginning to shed their leaves. My companions had argued that we should wait for the winter to pass, but I was determined to leave as soon as possible. Perhaps, just perhaps, I would be able to loose the team without killing any of them. Either way, I would finish this journey alone.  
  
We camped beneath the trees, all ten of us, a bright fire sitting in our midst. As the moon rose higher, we could hear the sounds of waking animals; nocturnal beasts rising for their nightly hunts. It was the first time I had been exposed to such things, and I was even momentarily glad to have so many experienced men at my side.  
  
I did not sleep that first night. I felt like a child. Looking back, I realize that that's just what I was.  
  
For the first time in my life, I saw the sunrise. Pure, glorious light. A pale pink glow that filled the sky and slowly turned to orange as it rose higher. I was struck by the beauty of it, by the purity of nature's beginning. For a moment, I even lost myself in the warm sunbeams that shone through the trees on to my frost bitten face.   
  
We set off once more into the wilderness, our bags weighing heavily on us – or maybe it was just me. I regretted bringing so many things, but I had packed all I owned, somehow knowing that I would not be returning for a while.  
  
On the second day, we were waylaid by a snow storm. Flurries of soft ice fell from the sky and blew about us, blinding us, forcing us to find shelter. Our group was separated, and to this day, I do not know what happened to the other six. The remaining four of us huddled beneath a great evergreen, desperate to keep warm. Eventually, though I'll never know how, I managed to fall asleep  
  
I woke in a frozen stupor. Every part of my body was numb, and I would have given anything for even a small flame of warmth. The man next to me was even colder, and his eyes were hollow and dead. I moved out from under him in a hurry, desperate to get away from his stony body.  
  
We didn't move on until a thorough search of the area had been conducted – in case any of the others had survived. Finding none, and having given the dead man a proper (though hasty) burial, the march continued. It was just me and two others. For the first time, I realized just how easily these mountains could claim my life. 


	5. Chapter Five: Age Claiming

**The days passed by in a blur of white flurries and frosty winds. Half a fortnight had gone by, when the life of one remaining companion was lost to the mountain; an avalanche. I had managed to find shelter beneath an outcropping of rock, and was joined by one of the soldiers. The other was caught in the onslaught of snow and carried down the mountain.**

**Three days after the avalanche, we reached the base of what I had come to believe was my destination. I would soon learn that, in reality, it was more of a starting point than a destination. I turned to my companion. He was blue in the face, and I assumed that I appeared to be in similar condition.**

**'This is where our fellowship ends.' I told him, bluntly.**

**He shook his head. 'No, this is where it begins.' He said, smiling, as though he knew what was coming, but did not fear it.**

**At the time, I did not understand. 'You don't see it - either you are going to return to your city, or you will forever rot in this snow-covered graveyard.'**

**Again, he shook his head. 'No, it is you who do not see. I cannot return without you, for my dishonour would be my end. I swore to protect you. To stay by your side through all the dangers of this wild terrain. Should that mean my death, then so be it.'**

**I raised my hands to his throat and grasped his neck firmly between them. He did not resist, he simply stood there. I often wonder if it would have been easier for me if he had fought... if he had won, but he didn't. He stood there and smiled kindly (or was it condecendingly?) down at me as I choked the life from his body. It seemed to take forever, and I have since learned of many more proficient ways of killing. The winds pelted my back, as though they were fighting for the man who refused to fight for himself. At last, his eyes began to dialate and his gaze became fixed - on myself, much to my dismay. He looked down at me and I knew that that image would stay with me for the rest of my life.**

**Releasing my grasp, I let his body fall to the icy earth. Dark bruises lined his neck from where my fingers had dug into it. His eyes suddenly seemed to stare out at the world, wildly searching for a final, peaceful sight, but unable to see anything at all. I stood over his body for a long time, until the sun had set, leaving the moon to light his pale, frostbitten face. And still I stood there, until the sun rose once more into the sky and I was able to tear my gaze away from him and begin once more my trek to see the strange man of the mountain.**

**Perhaps the worst part of it all was that nobody need ever know I had done it. The mountain could just has easily taken his life, and the chances of his body being found...**

**The guilt has been mine alone to this very day, and though I have killed many others since then, nothing compares to the first.**

**I regret not knowing the name of that last soldier, but in my arrogant youth, I had not bothered with the names of servants. That one, however, was special. I believe I knew it, even then, that his words would proove true; I would carry him with me wherever I went. No matter how far I ran, his face would always linger in my mind. For the link formed between us in his last moments was a stronger bond than any other connection I would have with another being. History has prooved it to be stronger, even, than the bond I share with my fellow wraiths, trapped as we are together in this eternal hell.**


	6. Chapter Six: Master and Boy

**The wind pelted my face as I struggled up the mountain. I stumbled blindly forward, as snow and ice were blown into my eyes each time I opened them. I was cold, oh so very cold, and I knew, deep inside, that I should find a place to sleep, out of the wind. But I was so close!**

The slope of the mountain began to steepen, so I chanced a quick peek at the world outside. All I could see was white. Snow blew up and around me in a torrent through which there didn't appear to be anything.

My steps slowed, but I continued on. I wasn't ready to give up just yet. I was so close... it couldn't be much farther.

I felt the ground give way beneath me, and I reached out to stop myself from falling through the chasm I knew to be beneath me. They sliped through inches of fresh snow before catching on to solid ice - ice I could hear cracking over the howl of the wind.

Soon... soon my anchor would give way, and I would fall to my death, possibly only meters from my destination. I began to feel lightheaded at the thought, and I felt myself drifting into semi-consiousness.

My grip loosened, and I slid farther down. I don't remember anything after that.

**O**

  
**Warmth shimmered over my body in deep, refreshing waves. Light danced over my closed eyelids and the smell of burning wood filled my nostrils. My entire body ached, and I can still remember the burning pain that seared my left cheek as I lay there on a palate of cold stone.**

I hadn't yet opened my eyes, so I must have made some sort of audible noise, as a voice came softly and sternly over the cackle of the fire. 'Ah, so you are alive. I was begining to have my doubts.'

I forced my eyes open. It was difficult, they'd probably be frozen shut.

The roof that greeted me was cold, unwelcoming and seemed to be very high above me - high enough that the light of the fire didn't reach it properly. Slowly, tentatively, I tried to sit up. My head spun, and my body complained, but I managed. The first thing I saw of the strange man from the library was him nodding in approval.

'Strong willed - I like that. Come along then, eat up. There's lots to do and only a finite amount of time to do it in.'

'Finite amount...'

'Yes, boy, now get up!'

I was suddenly ver indignant. Until that moment, I'd almost forgotten who I was. 'How dare you speak to me like that - do you not know who I am?'

'On the contrary, I know perfectly well who you are. You are my student, and I am your teacher. You have come here to seek what little of my extensive knowledge you will be able to grasp and I am here to offer it to you, freely, willingly. I am the master, you are the boy.'

'My name is Ji Ind-'

'No, your name, from now until further notice is Boy - understood? You gave up your status the moment you stepped onto this mountain. The moment you convinced yourself to come here. There are no kings or monarchs here, Boy, only masters and servants. Is that understood?'

I nodded, slowly.

'Good, that is lesson one. From here on, it gets a little more difficult.' Then he laughed, and my blood has yet to warm again.  



End file.
